Lies and Lying Liars
I'm currently taking the first crack ever at a dissertation chapter. This is quite an undertaking, considering I have no research and only the crudest sketch of a topic. I'm not even completely sure which sources I'll use. But The Advisor said I had to write an introduction to a chapter, so I'm writing an introduction to a chapter I do not have. And I'm making it up every step of the way.
So I've been sitting in this coffee shop for an hour and a half and all the Sunday morning brunchers come and go with their Sunday Times and their lazy weekend routines. And I've written one paragraph. One paragraph in an hour and a half. At this point, it's such a struggle that I feel like I'm having to create each word from scratch. "What would be a good connecting word? You know, something to indicate these things go together? Hmmmm. How about A-N-D? That'll work. Put that down."
Damn. I can't decide, either, whether this is a result of trying to write this long before I'm ready or if it's destined to be this hard every time I write something for the first time. Or maybe it's that I had a cinnamon bun with my coffee and by the time I got to stringing sentences together, I'd completely sugar crashed and am doomed to feel this clueless until I have some protein. Either way, it feels pretty hopeless. I can only hope that when I turn this in to my writing seminar later today (What? I'm supposed to have more than a paragraph 12 hours before I turn something in?) that my fellow historians will recognize a good lie when they see one and make up something to say in response.